CHEM SEX & HIV!

"When I did get a chance to connect with others in this madness we sometimes talked about being HIV positive. People would say that they felt the disease was treatable now and that they had a second chance. That seemed to be the general attitude to HIV – that it was no longer a problem for them personally." --- http://www.beigeuk.com/2014/02/chem-sex-revealed-part-one/

nakakalungkot! pero parang nagiging ganito na rin ang sitwasyon dito sa pilipinas... me mga naririnig na akong ganito ang pananaw sa chem sex at pagiging positive kaya wala na silang pakialam. :(

stay safe everyone!

 

ako si BONG

ito ang aking diary

 

 

 

 

 

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AUGUST 2014 REPORT CARD

everything is stable...

but need to watch my sugar and carbs...

otherwise...

i feel good...

i feel great...

 

kayo?

kamusta kayo?

 

ako si BONG

ito ang aking diary

 

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SISTER LOVE

MARCH 19, 2014, Wednesday, 11:20pm

HER: Kuya ***** told me about your condition :(( bakit naman 2 years na pala d ka nagsasabi sa amin, pano pala kung too late na? Kuya naman lagi ka wala sinasabi... Oo madami ka friends to help and support you pero kami naman family mo dapat alam namin nangyayari sayo sobrang lalayo na nga namin at hindi na tayo nagkikita. You have to give us a chance to help you in anyway we can. Sabi naman ng Kuya ***** you're doing everything and getting the best treatment. Doble ingats na dapat at alagaan mabuti sarili mo. You should tell Ate **** too. We are here for you no matter what and if you need anything I am just a msg away too.

ME: Hehe

HER: Anong hehe? Ikaw!!! I had to cry it out last night pa bago ako magising this morning para hindi masyado emo tas "hehe" sagot mo?? Baliw!

ME: http://www.parteeandplay.blogspot.com/2011/07/day-0-june-30-2011.html?m=0 - Yan ang first entry sa blog ko. Thats my story.

HER: I started reading it last night pa. kuya ***** told me about the blog too. Hayss.

ME: Am okay naman. Its not a very big deal really. Ayaw ko lang marami nagwoworry sa akin. Hahaha.

HER: Were suppose to worry and try to help you in anyway. Iuupdate mo kami kung ano nangyayari sa mga treatment mo. Kahit kay kuya **** alam mo naman ako kalahati lang utak minsan hindi ko naiintindihan. Pero alam ko serious yan kaya mag ingat ka.

ME: Thanks. Wag na muna ke ate **** Kayo na lang muna. At pls wag ng sabihin sa iba oks?

HER: Ikaw bahala. I wont say a thing. Let me know if you need anything at isasanla ko kaluluwa ko dyan sa tabitabi. Nasan kaba nasa province parin?

ME: Manila ako now, me tinatapos na trabaho. Punta ako sa province sa sabado.

HER: Yung pakiramdam mo ba ano? May sumasakit ba sayo? O normal lang?

ME: Wala normal lang naman. Alam na ni ***** (husband)? Anung sabi?

HER: Alam nya kase kaharap sya. This morning sabi nya sakin if you need help we'll be here to support and help. Actually ayaw pa sabihin ni Kuya **** we have to sit daw to talk about something another day.

ME: Tapos?

HER: E hindi ako makali i think i ask if its about you tas sabi ko is he sick? Hindi na sya sumagot

ME: Eh pano mo naman naisip na its abt me and that am sick? Do i look sick?

HER: Tas kase sabi ko for some reason everytime nakikita ko post mo sa fb about how you support those with it active ka Dun sa group to prevent it. Paramg naffeel ko lang baka meron ka rin nga matagal ko na naiisip actually. Pero syempre hula hula i dunno gawa lang nung pinopost mo sa fb

ME: Oks.

HER: Kaya yung naconfirm ko sa kanya yung feeling ko yung kinakatakutan ko na na feel ko palang totoo pala.

ME: Ganun na nga. Oks lang yan. Its not like before naman na walang gamot. Now the meds are really good and kelangan lang maging healthy lifestyle and iwas stress.

HER: Yun nga daw importante basta magingat sa lahat. Binabasa ko nga blog mo kagabi super positive kaparin which is great and youre helping others din. Yakang yaka ikaw pa.

ME: Korek

HER: Aylabyu very very much! Ikaw ay ipagdadasal ko galingan mo. Nalulungkot ako na hindi ako makauwi para makita kayo. Hays. Balitaan mo kami palagi kung ano nangyayari sayo.

ME: Okay po. Thanks labyu too.

--- My yougest sister is the best. I miss her :(

BACKSTORY:

So ayun na nga, before leaving, my brother asked my permission to tell our youngest sister and her husband, my being positive. Somehow ayaw nyang nagiisa lang sya na nakakaalam sa family ko at kung anu man daw ang mangyari they are both in a position to help me out. I said yes. They are 2 of my siblings which i am most comfortable with. I love them dearly. Nakakaluwag lang ng damdamin na malaman na kahit anung mangyari they will be there to help me, without judgement.

Am fine as of the moment. In a weeks time is my routine labs, 7mo after starting meds. Crucial kasi i wld know if my stats are getting better so il know if the meds are working for me. Crucial din kasi from the results i would know kung magfufullblast na ba ako sa work at par pursue ng other opportunities sa ibang field of work. I feel great naman. Aside from some minor fungal and bacterial infections na naagapan namang gamutin, I dont feel anything different.

Wish me luck on my lab results.

 

ito ang aking diary

ako si BONG

 

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STAYIN' ALIVE!

 

Well now, I get low and I get high,

And if I can't get either, I really try.

Got the wings of heaven on my shoes.

I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose.

You know it's all right. It's OK.

I'll live to see another day.

We can try to understand

The New York Times' effect on man.

 

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,

You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',

And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.

Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

 

~ bee gees

this is how much i have to deal with to stay alive.

difficult you say? nah!!!

it takes a little time to get used to

definitely confusing at times

pero its actually easy

these meds keeps me healthy

parang multivitamins lang

today my routine labs went well, spotless

and so i can breathe easy

coudn't ask for more

sabi nga ni Janina San Miguel,

"i dont peel eyni preysyur rayt now"

today we celebrate WORLD AIDS DAY!

25 days til christmas!

HAPPY!

 

ako si BONG

ito ang aking diary

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ITS TIME!

kasalukuyang nasa canteen ng RITM alabang, naghihintay ng 1 oras bago lamnan ang pangalawang sputum vial.

dahil sa resulta ng huling CD4 count ko kanina, nag request ang aking duktor ng karagdagang chest xray at sputum test.

mukhang kailangan na talagang magsimula at hindi na pwedeng ipagpaliban, dalawang taon din akong naghintay.

meron pa akong mga 2 linggo para gawin ang mga nararapat na lab tests at mga konsultasyon.

maliban duon eh wala naman ibang dapat ikabahala, wala naman akong nararammdaman.

pero bagong adustment na naman.

but i feel great.

i am ready.

329 = arv

;)

ito ang aking diary,

ako si BONG

 

(PS: sira ang aking mobile number, you can reach me sa email)

 

 

 

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THE CURE! IS IT ALMOST HERE?

By Jake Wallis Simons (6:30PM BST 27 Apr 2013)

Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/10022664/Scientists-hope-for-HIV-cure.html

Researchers are working on "novel strategies" to find a cure for HIV, with the first results expected “within months”.

Danish scientists are hoping for results that will show that “finding a mass-distributable and affordable cure to HIV is possible”.

They are conducting a clinical trial to test a “novel strategy” in which the HIV virus is "reactivated" from its hiding place within human DNA and potentially destroyed permanently by the immune system.

The move would represent a step forward in the attempt to find a cure for the virus, which causes Aids.

The scientists are currently conducting human trials on their treatment, in the hope of proving that it is effective. It has already been found to work in laboratory tests.

The technique involves unmasking the “reservoirs” formed by the HIV virus inside resting immune cells, bringing it to the surface of the cells. Once it comes to the surface, the body’s natural immune system may be able to kill the virus.

In vitro studies — those that use human cells in a laboratory — of the new technique proved so successful that in January, the Danish Research Council awarded the team 12 million Danish kroner (£1.5 million) to pursue their findings in clinical trials with human subjects.

These are now under way, and according to Dr Ole Søgaard, a senior researcher at the Aarhus University Hospital in Denmark and part of the research team, the early signs are “promising”.

“I am almost certain that we will be successful in activating HIV from the reservoirs," he said.

“The challenge will be getting the patients’ immune system to recognise the virus and destroy it. This depends on the strength and sensitivity of individual immune systems, as well as how large a proportion of the hidden HIV is unmasked.”

Fifteen patients are currently taking part in the trials, and ithe first results from the trial are expected to presented in the second half of 2013.

Dr Søgaard stressed that a cure is not the same as a preventative vaccine, and that raising awareness of unsafe behaviour, including unprotected sex and sharing needles, remains of paramount importance in combating HIV.

With modern HIV treatment, a patient can live an almost normal life, even into old age, with limited side effects.

However, if medication is stopped, HIV reservoirs become active and start to produce more of the virus, meaning that symptoms can reappear within two weeks.

Finding a cure would free a patient from the need to take continuous HIV medication, and save health services billions of pounds.

The technique is being researched in Britain, but studies have not yet moved on to the clinical trial stage. Five universities — Oxford, Cambridge, Imperial College, London, University College, London and King’s College, London — have jointly formed the Collaborative HIV Eradication of Reservoirs UK Biomedical Research Centre group (CHERUB), which is dedicated to finding an HIV cure.

They have applied to the Medical Research Council for funding to conduct clinical trials, which will seek to combine techniques to release the reservoirs of HIV with "immunotherapy", which gives patients a better chance of destroying the virus.

In addition, they are focusing on patients that have only recently been infected, as they believe this will improve chances of a cure. The group hopes to receive a funding decision in May.

“When the first patient is cured in this way it will be a spectacular moment,” says Dr John Frater, a clinical research fellow at the Nuffield School of Medicine, Oxford University, and a member of the CHERUB group.

“It will prove that we are heading in the right direction and demonstrate that a cure is possible. But I think it will be five years before we see a cure that can be offered on a large scale.”

The Danish team’s research is among the most advanced and fast moving in the world, as that they have streamlined the process of putting the latest basic science discoveries into clinical testing.

This means that researchers can progress more quickly to clinical trials, accelerating the process and reaching reliable results sooner than many others.

The technique uses drugs called HDAC Inhibitors, which are more commonly used in treating cancer, to drive out the HIV from a patient’s DNA and onto the surface of infected cells. The Danish researchers are using a particularly powerful type of HDAC inhibitor.

Five years ago, the general consensus was that HIV could not be cured. But then Timothy Ray Brown, an HIV sufferer — who has become known in the field as the Berlin Patient — developed leukaemia.

He had a bone marrow transplant from a donor with a rare genetic mutation that made his cells resistant to HIV. As a result, in 2007 Mr Brown became the first man to ever be fully cured of the disease.

Replicating this procedure on a mass scale is impossible. Nevertheless, the Brown case caused a sea change in research, with scientists focusing on finding a cure as well as suppressing the symptoms.

Two principal approaches are currently being pursued. The first, gene therapy, aims to make a patient’s immune system resistant to HIV. This is complex and expensive, and not easily transferrable to diverse gene pools around the world.

The second approach is the one being pursued by Dr Søgaard and his colleagues in Denmark, the CHERUB group in Britain, and by other laboratories in the United States and Europe.

 

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ANNIV NI DAN!

 

hi everyone

aun, kaya nga pla ako nagsulat ng story kc aniv ko na sa pagiging HIV + gusto maging memorable ang experience and ma share ito

kc until now marami pa akong d alam at gusto matutunan about HIV

nakakaloka dba pero wla na kong magagwa eto na ko....

ako nga pla si Dan 25 yrs old pero pag nakita nyo ko am look like 17, gaya ng sabi sakin dun sa HIV seminar namin baby face kasi ako eh, small built white complexion tska appealing ( uy am not making my self proud ah hahahahhaha description lang) going back i want to share my story kc gusto maging makabuluhan ang pagintindi ko sa sakit natin at matuto ng sobra.. takot eh... TAKOT AKONG MAMATAY

i was diagnose last 2012 April un the second un ang pinaka malungkot na pangyayari sa buhay ko, gusto ko lang mag patest nun sa HEPA B kc para un sa ojt ko sa hotel requirement eh, so i went to my auntie aun di ko alam she tested me for HIV aun sapul ako, i went to several test lahat positive, nakakalungot dba, ako nga di ko talga alam ang aggawin, i can't even tell it to anyone.

limipas ang mga buwan, days, and weeks, nag start ako mag pa baseline test awa ng diyos lahat negative until now ni hindi ako nag kaka sipon or ubo, even any sympthoms wla. healthy tlga siguro dhl wla pang manifestations, early detection eh

pasensya na pero magiging emotional na ako, gusto ko lang malabas lahat na alam kong un din ang nararamdaman ng marami sa atin...

lumipas ang araw at buwan naramdaman ko na ang sympthoms ng sakit ko i had lymph node sa leeg, sa armpit at sa shoulders siguro mga 10 sila lahat wla nmn akong nararamdaman kya deadma lang... i took anti boitics kc sabi nila mamwawala daw ang lymph pag ng anti bacterial mali pla ako

pang 7month ko na andyan parin sila nakatatak na sa leeg, balikat at dibdib ko, nakakatakot, nakakaalarma

pumunta ako sa treament hub ko sa alabang

pinagpala ako wla nmn findings kc sa totoo lang ni hindi ako nagkasakit or what even khit wla akong vaccine ( thank you lord )

pero di nagtagl nakakaranas na ko ng back pain upper part it almost last for now cguro mga 8 months na di nawawala di nmn ganun kasikt tolerable but mararamdaman mo

natatakot ako, ayoko nmn mag pa xray bka may lumabas at di ko nmn matanggap, kc honestly nung nalaman ko na meron ako gusto ko gumanti at i kalat ito, para patas patas tyo, kso naisip ko ako nga di ko matanggap hahayaan ko pa bang maranasan to ng iba?

di pa ako nag gagamot kc last CD4 ko 567 pa sya naun di ko na alam kung anu scheduled para para sa susunod na CD4

nagyoyosi at nagiimon pa ako

at malala kc di ko na maiwasan mag yosi at maginom

pasensya na pero simula ng malan ko to nalungkot parang ninakaw nya sakin lahat

ung kababtaan ko, ung kagustuhan kong i enjoy ang buhay ko, ang paginom at pakikibarkada

lahat un nawala na

pero alam nyo ba ginawa ko parin sya madalas pa din akong maginom at mag yosi

un na siguro ako

pero natatakot ako madami sa kaibigan ko ang namatay dhl din sa HIV

maswerte ako dhl wla pa akong OI anu ba gagawin ko? para matigil ang mga bisyo kong ito PLEASE HELP ME

naun gagraduate ako sa HRM ang saya ko nga eh, pero malungkot pa din kc wla pa din tyong gamot

nga pla marami akong kilala sa mga kaibigan ko parang positibo pero nahihya ako iapproach to take test anu ba gagagwin ko dun?

gusto ko sana matulungan nyo ko about sa situation ko kc nahihirap ung back shoulders ko may something tlga

atska natatakot tlga ako mamatay alam ko na alam nyo rin di lang ako bka kyo rin may mga kaibigan at mahal sa buhay na namatay dhil dito

natatakot din ako para sa sarili ko, na parang wla na akong karapatan maging bata at ma enjoy ang lahat, ung tipong iinom makikisalamuha ta makikipag yosi sa iba

wla na INAGAW NA NYA

ayoko mamatay, gusto ko mabuhay pero may bisyo ako anu ggwin ko?

naiiyak akokc parang wla na tyong silbi. uu meron tyo HIV pero anu it will eventually become AIDS, mamamatay, tapos paguusapan at pastsitsismisan

nasaksihan ko kc yan sa mga pumanaw kong mga kaibigan na kgayan ntn

alam nyo kapag naginuma kmi at HIV ang topic natatamemme ako, pero pag nagsalita na ko nakiknig sila,sana na aabsorb nila

ang irap noh, ung tipong paniwalain ang sarili mo na wla ka kahit meron ka!

lasing na ko, nagkalakas lang ng ako ng loob na ikwento to dhla natatakot ako sobra... SOBRA d ko na tlga alam ang ggwin

sana di katulad ang istirya ko ng istorya nyo

bsta KAPITBISIG TYO

sana may gamot na

sana paggalingin nila tyo

sana wla na lang ganito

Dan

Hello dan,

salamat sa iyong pagsulat, masaya ako dahil pinagkaabalahan mo ang pagsulat sa akin. hindi madali ang mag share ng ating mga nararamdaman.

lalong masaya ako at mukhang medyo mas upbeat ka na ngayon compared nung makilala kita sa training natin dati. newly diagnosed ka pa lang yata nun di ba at kamamatay lang din ng bestfriend mo? at sa buong batch ikaw nga ang pinaka bata at pinaka maganda! pero ikaw rin ang pinaka mukhang pinagsakluban ng mundo noong panahong yun. kaya sa tono ng sulat mo eh mukhang kinakaya mo naman, kaya masaya na rin ako.

ilang ulit mong sinasabi sa sulat mo na "ayaw mo pang mamatay" - ay maganda yan, ako rin ayaw ko pang mamatay, sinong bang me gusto nun. at sino bang nagsabi sa yo na mamamatay ka na, o mamatay na tayo? hindi ibig sabihin na positive tayo eh mamamatay na tayo. sa panahon ngayon sa tinagal tagal ng panahon na may HIV sa mundo, wala na dapat namamatay sa AIDS related complications. dahil epektibo naman ang mga gamot na available ngayon. kaya lang marami pa rin ang namamatay eh dahil too late na ng madiagnose sila. totally wala silang alam na positive sila, o mas pinili pa nila na wag malaman dahil naduwag sila, or alam nila pero ayaw magpagamot ng maaga, o mas pinili pang madepress, o natatakot sila sa sasabihin ng ibang tao at ituring silang outcast --- pagkaduwag, wala o maling kaalaman, stigma at diskriminasyon sa ating komunidad --- ito ang mga tunay na dahilan kung bakit marami pa rin namamatay sa AIDS. leche kasi ang mga moralista at self-righteous nating kababayan, nakakalungkot nga eh. kung me mga namatay ka ng friends, mas marami sa akin, i lost count na, mga 12 na yata sila. nakita mo ba akong naglulupasay at nawawalan ng pag asa? hinde! dahil the more i feel bad about my being pusit, the more am risking losing points on my cd4 ;) kaya dapat happy lang girl.

maswerte ka, maswerte tayo at maaga pa lang eh alam na natin ang ating status, ngayon pwede na nating alagaan ang ating sarili... sayang naman ang ganda mo kung magmumukmok ka lang dyan.

potah ka! ;) antaas taas nga ng cd4 count mo no. 567 ka pa... pinakamataas ko eh 499 lang. ngayon am down to 382 (feb 2013)... nirerecommend na nga ni doc na mag ARV na ako. sabi ko pagiisipan ko muna. sa next test ko sa august will be my big decision. sana tumaas ulit.

every 6months dapat ang baseline tests teh, baka due ka na for lab tests, go back to alabang na - bakla dont lose your FOCUS, ngayon kelangan mas maging masinsin tayo sa mga health issues natin. pay attention sa lahat ng sinasabi ng duktor.

maganda at ur always paying attention sa mga sakit sa katawan mo, everytime na may nararamdaman, visit your HIV doctor agad, ganyan din ako. madalas nga eh sinasabi ng duktor sa akin na dont worry dahil halos lahat ng ibang nararamdaman ko eh di naman related sa HIV status ko. normal na yatang maging paranoid tayo sa maliliit na bagay. pero dapat iwas stress, wag masyado magworry, basta check up lang lagi ang katapat and trust your doctors.

www.thebody.com --- yan ang bibliya ko sa lahat ng concerns ko, plus meron akong mga kaibigan duktor at nurses na lagi kong napapagtanungan pag kinakailangan. marami ring kaibigan ang nag aalaga sa akin at alam nila ang staus ko kaya kampante ako na di nila ako pababayaan.

sa ngayon am just concentrating on staying happy and living a productive life. living my life as if everyday is my last. masaya lang.

marami akong kilala na mga pusit na matataas ang posisyon sa kumpanya, maganda ang trabaho, malakas, maganda tulad mo. kaya girl wag ka magiinarte na wala ka ng kinabukasan at inagaw na ng HIV (kukurutin kita eh). you have your whole life ahead of you, maaaring mas mahirap ng konti ang landas na tatahakin natin subalit hindi ibig sabihin na sadyang mas kont ang oportunidad na ilalaan sa atin ng mundo. it's all about your attitude sabi nga nila, ikaw lang ang gumagawa ng iyong kinabukasan kaya tigilan na ang kaartehan at rumampa ka na at mabuhay sa matuwid na daan.

matuwid na daan means healthy life, which is what it should be naman, positive or not. minimize if not abolish your bisyo, kung di kaya ng bigla, unti unti. anything na makakapagpababa ng resistensya ng katawan natin, dapat iwasan. ituring mo na lang na mas babasagin ka kesa sa mga tropa mo. mas alagaan mo ang iyong sarili. pwede namang mag enjoy na hindi pinapabayaan ang ating health. sorry na lang tayo dahil pusit tayo, nagkamali tayo, nabawasan ang ating freedom kumbaga, alang alang sa ikahahaba ng ating buhay.

pwede pa rin i enjoy ang sex ng safe, hay naku teh, ang sarap din kaya. ;)

hihi.

madam, baka matagalan pa ang himala! wala pang gamot! how i wish meron na, pero ang kawalan nito ay hindi magiging hadlang para mabuhay ako ng masaya. papaano kung hindi ito dumating sa lifetime natin?

anung gagawin natin?

NGANGANGA*¥^<{}#<~~]{^???

happy anniversary dan, lets hang out soon...

 

ako si BONG

ito ang aking diary

My CD4 Count

 

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HELLO ARG!

its been 3 months

biglaan ang pagbisita

mag isa lang ako

wala si bf, nasa trabaho

---

lightheadedness

nilalamig

slight shortness of breath

me konting plema

----

am i sick?

or am i just getting paranoid?

---

mabuti na yung sigurado

so here i am

waiting for my turn

free consultation

---

familiar faces

new faces

---

wish me luck!

 

 

ako si BONG

ito ang aking diary

 

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Self Empowerment Training - DONE!

16 new poz friends...

16 enlightening life stories disclosed...

16 more reasons to celebrate life...

with

a more open mind,

a more caring self,

a more loving heart,

and

a brighter and more productive future

ahead of us.

thanks to RITM and DOH!

i feel affirmed

i feel empowered

a great weekend

indeed!

 

ako si BONG

ito ang aking diary

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SINO ANG NAKAHAWA SA IYO?

You know Bong, if you have noticed most of the HIV cases in PH, they hardly know where they got it. Very seldom that someone can recall or traced it back from its "ORIGIN".I know for a fact that it will not changed a thing if you have the virus already but then isnt it make you feel better if you know who passed it!

from HIVSLASHAIDS
http://hivslashaids.blogspot.com/

HELLO HIVSLASHAIDS,

totoo, kahit ako, i cannot exactly pinpoint who is the culprit in my case... alam mo kung bakit? kasi mahirap naman talagang malaman kung sino --- unless isa lang ang nakasex (unsafe) mo sa buong buhay mo, or kapag once every 6 months ka lang nakikipagsex at within that period eh magpapaHIV test ka, siguro kapag ganun ang case mo mapipinpoint mo...

it is a FACT na even if you have unsafe sex sa isang PLHIV, may chance pa rin na hindi ka mahahawahan --- hindi automatic na mahahawahan ka agad, may chances pa rin na hindi... maraming factors ang dapat iconsider.   ang sabi pa nga ng ibang studies eh mahirap naman daw talaga na maikalat ang HIV, marami lang talagang mga tao ang nagiging mapangahas pagdating sa sex.

so ano yun iisa isahin mo ang mga nakasex mo? pipilitin mo magpatest kung ayaw umamin or kung hindi nila alam? (thats against the law to make-pilit magpatest anybody) tapos kung nag positive nga sila, pano mo mapapatunayan na sya ang nakahawa sa iyo at hindi ikaw ang nakahawa sa kanya?  so you have to consider time differences, kelan ka nahawahan? kelan ka nagpatest? kelan sila nahawaan? kelan sila nagpatest?  ---  eh kung magnegative yung pinagdududahan mo, e di ikaw naman ang babalikan nya, bakit mo siya inilagay sa risk of infection, ikaw naman hahabulin.  walang katapusan na counterchecking baka makagawa ka na ng family tree ng HIV sa Pilipinas.  gugulo lang ang buhay mo.

sa aking palagay mas makabubuting wag na lang malaman (irrelevant na yung issue), kasi una mahirap maghinala at mahirap magprove ang ebidensya, unless 100 percent sure ka nga, solid facts ang kailangan.  at para anu pa? it wouldnt make any difference at all. isa pang pagsisimulan ito ng galit, kung malalaman ko kung sino, baka hindi natin maiwasan na magtanim ng galit sa taong me kasalanan, most of the cases naman eh hindi rin nila sinasadya ang pangyayari.

negative energies ang mga yun, wala na akong panahon sa ganun, i just wanna live a healthy and positive life, anything i do that does not make me productive and will not lengthen my life is a WASTE of TIME - so why bother? ;)

para sa akin, ang katotohanan, kasalanan ko rin ito, nagpabaya ako, tinatanggap ko ng 100% ang responsibilidad na ito, wala akong sinisisi at itinuturo...

sana lahat tayo ganun.

ito ang aking diary

ako si BONG

SI AMBER

Hi Bong

Im Amber,Lagi kong binabasa ang story dito.Dito ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob para magpatest,Isang taon nakong gustong gusto magpa-test pero sobrang takot ako at nahihiya at hindi ako handa na tanggapin kung Positive man ako.. 

My 2years live in Partner turns out na marami pala syang kinakasiping nalaman ko lang nung pahuli na namay isa pala syang YAHOO at dun sya nakikipagchat sa mga babaeng nakakasiping nia pinag-uusapan pa nila how they did it, 

Nakapaghiwalay ako agad, 1.5 years na ang nakakalipas since huli kaming nagsiping and he never used condom.Palagi akong nag-aalala na baka may HIV ako..Sobrang paranoid ko na.. Finally yesterday nagkaroon din ako ng lakas ng loob makapag pa test sa MAKATI SOCIAL HYGIENE and it turns out "REACTIVE" Sa mga pagkakataong yun hindi ako makapaniwala na sinasabi ng Nurse sakin na "REACTIVE daw" Hindi ako makatayo nanginginig ang mga tuhod ko..Sabi nia hintayin ko daw yung Confirmatory test after 2-3 weeks.

Kapag "REACTIVE ba means malaki ang chance na Positive ???I dont feel sick wala akong symptoms na nararamdaman walang rash or lymph nodes,,wala ring LBM akong nararanasan hindi ko matanggap na REACTIVE yung results pinapaniwala ko pa rin sarili na magiging Negative yung Confirmatory.Gulong gulo ako hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.Di ko alam kung sino ang kakausapin ko.
Salamat at Pasensya kana ang haba na ng message ko 

Amber

Hello Amber,

Masaya ako at malungkot.

Masaya dahil kahit papaano, ang aking blog ang naging daan para magkaroon ka ng lakas ng loob para tanggapin sa iyong sarili na maaaring nagkaroon ka ng RISK sa HIV, at lakas ng loob to take the first step and had yourself tested.  Sana sa proseso ay mas naliwanagan ka na kung ano ang katotohanan ng HIV at AIDS.  

Malungkot dahil hindi naging maganda ang resulta ng screening test mo sa Makati. Totoo na mahirap ang sitwasyon mo ngayon lalo na at naghihintay ka ng CONFIRMATORY TEST mo, marami sa mga kakilala ko ang ganun din at gulong gulo ang isip during that time.  Para sagutin ang iyong tanung, because our screening tests now have greatly improved through the years there is only a very slim chance that you can turn out NEGATIVE on your confirmatory tests.  There is but its really very very rare - that I would not want you to bank on it and get disappointed again after a few weeks.  (some might not agree with me, let me tell you why this is my view)

Naalala ko pa nung nakuha ko na ang result ng confirmatory test ko  -----

JULY 2, 2011 “ REVELATIONS --- habang pasakay na kami ng kotse wala na kong ibang nasabi kungdi “sinabi ko na sa inyo guys eh” . pagkaupo, hinagilap nila ang aking kamay at mariing pinisil.  nagsimulang tahimik ang aming biyahe pabalik sa coffee shop na pinag almusalan naming.  maya maya ay nagsimula na naman ang diskusyon ukol na potensyal na magnegative pa ang confirmatory test na gagawin.  may suhestiyon si jimboy na kumuha ng panibagong rapid HIV testing sa isang pribadong clinic na malapit sa lugar naming “just to reconfirm the initial findings” sabi nya. hindi na ako  pumayag.  ang sa akin lang, kahapon ko pa natanggap na malaki ang potensyal na maging positive ako, mahirap mang isipin, hindi pa ako umiiyak at wala akong nararamdamang kailangan kong umiyak dahil sa mga pangyayaring ito.  gusto ko lang magsimula na agad na harapin ang kalagayan ko, ayoko ng bigyan pa ng false-hope ang aking sarili sa isang bagay na alam ko naman na maliit na lang ang potensyal na mangyari.  kung kailangan tanggapin na ngayon, tanggapin na lang. oo maghihintay pa ako ng 2 linggo pero ang alam ko sa ngayon POSITIVE ako. yun ang totoo, anu ang gagawin ko mula sa araw na ito. naintindihan nina jamil ay jimboy ang punto ko at tinaggap na rin nila ang aking argumento. ---
------------

Amber, I sincerely hope that your case can be part of that rare cases where the confirmatory tests will reveal negative results.  Pero sa ngayon mas magiging mas advantageous para sa iyo na tanggapin na lang kaagad ang resulta at magsimula sa panibagong buhay na kailangan mong harapin (tulad ng ginawa ko) ng sa gayun ay mabawasan na  ng pag aalala at lalong depresyon sa buhayh mo ngayon.  Kung sakaling maging maswerte ka sa confirmatory result mo, then we can celebrate and treat it as a  bonus. Kung hindi naman at talagang POSITIVE ka na eh maaga pa lang ay nakapag move on ka na and you start taking care of yourself (at hindi na nasayang ang 2 buwan sa pagaalala at mga negative thoughts).  Dapat mong tandaan na sa iyong kalagayan ngayon, the last thing you need to to feel depress and feel bad.  Andyan na yan at di na natin mababago ang nakaraan.  The more you spend time getting depressed and “feel negative” about the situation, it will further take its toll on your immune system and your health.  

Napakadaling sabihin pero sobrang hirap gawin, may ilang tao akong kilala na it took months and sometimes even years before they were able to move on with their life and start feeling good about themselves again.  Ako it took me 1 day of sadness and feeling ”lost” after which nakamove on na ako agad.  Alam mo kung bakit??? Dahil sa simula pa lang ay educated na ako about HIV and AIDS, malawak na ang kaalamam ko sa isyung ito, PLUS sadyang  masayahin at “positive thinker” lang talaga akong tao, I always look at the positive side of things, marami na akong napagdaanang bagay sa buhay ko and nothing can pull me down, not even HIV.  Hiling ko ay sana ay maging madali para sa iyo na maka move on.

Base sa mga bagong diagnosed na nakasalamuha ko, kahit pala dumaan naman sila na proper POST TEST COUNSELNG, pero dahil nga sa biglang masamang balita ay tila wala silang naintindihan at maalala sa mga sinabi ng COUNSELR after nilang malaman ang resulta.  Normal ito na nasa state of shock tayo at kahit nai explain na sa atin ang mga dapat gawin, ay tila confused na confused pa rin tayo.  Dahil siguro hindi natin nasabi or naisip agad ang mga sitwaysyon na kinalalagyan natin at hindi ito direktang nasagot ng counselor. (paano ako? Paano ang anak ko? Paano ang trabaho ko? Paano wala akong pera? At marami pang iba) .  

Kaya inirerekumenda ko na 

1. after a few days at mas malinaw na ang iyong pagiisip, ay makipagusap ulit sa iyong counselor, o kaya sa isang counselor na PLHIV (people living with HIV) din kung saan mas mailalatag mo ang iyong mga katanungan at kalituhan para masagot isa isa.   Hanggat hindi mo ito nagagawa ay hindi mawawala ang iyong pag ka “lost” sa sitwasyon mo. 

2. kung ayaw mong makipag usap, pwede ka ring magresearch – may kumpletong impormasyon tungkol sa NEWLY DIAGNOSED sa www.thebody.com, halos lahat ng tanung natin nasagot na nila you can go directly here --- http://www.thebody.com/content/49985/just-diagnosed-with-hiv-aids.html?ic=3001 --- maari lang may ibang detalye na hindi angkop sa sitwasyon natin sa pilipinas kaya para sa akin mas mahalaga pa rin na makipag usap o magtanung ng personal na isang tao na nakakaalam tungkol dito, a PLHIV na Counselor or just plain PLHIV.

3. Research and educate yourself completely on HIV & AIDS (same website).

4. Start living a Healthy Life. (which is the way it should be PLHIV or not)

5. Consider having a PLHIV Support Group (BABAE PLUS, PINOY PLUS, CEBU PLUS, PAFPI etc..) kasi sila ang magiging katuwang mo sa lahat ng iyong katanungan. Sobrang dami ring anonymous PLHIV Twitter users, if you want to belong but still keep your identity anonymous and share your story - there is a lot to learn from our PLHIV colleagues and to know that there are hundreds and thousands of us out there is PRICELESS.   I can introduce you to them, tweet me at --- ako_si_BONG

6. Consider disclosure to key people. importante ito pero hindi naman requirement.

7. Have you Philhealth documents ready.  malaki ang maitutulong nito sa ating bagong buhay. kung wala ka pa, make sure you enroll immediately.

8. Seek medical attention and follow the crucial next steps after you receive your Confirmatory Results.  – CHOOSING & REFERRAL TO TREATMENT HUB – BASELINE LABORATORY TESTS – QUARTERLY OR BI-ANNUAL CHECK UP WITH AN HIV DOCTOR.

9. Most importantly Love Yourself above all. 

EMBRACE POSITIVITY:

a. You took the test and now you know your status, you can finally stop wondering and start to move on --- this is good!

b. Mukhang just a few years lang yung risky sex relationship mo, means a few years lang din nung ma acquire mo ito… meaning there is still a plenty of time to move and seek proper  medical attention…. Some people took 5 to 10 years to find out their status, and sometimes its already too late for them.

c. You are perfecty healthy at wala kang anumang sakit.  Meaning wala pang kahit anung opportunistic infections.  This is great, more good news.  --- dipende sa tao at sa kanilang immune system, a person can last 2 to 10 years without any signs and symptoms before they realize that they are infected --- PLUS chances of living a productive life dramatically increases with proper ARV treamments which is now available for you (30 to 40 years is no longer rare for PLHIV).  This is GREAT.

d. Di ito cancer, walang taning ang buhay natin.  Masuwerte pa rin tayo.   

Focus lang ang kailangan, presence of mind at ilang taong iyong masasandalan.  Step by step. You can surpass all these.

AMBER, i give you a “Virtual HUG” – know that  its not the end of the world and we will be here for you, all you have to do is ask.


ito ang aking diary
ako si BONG

email: playingpositive@gmail.com
twitter: ako_si_BONG

PLHIVs --- OUR HELP IS NEEDED BADLY!

di ba matagal na tayong nagtatanung ngayon PLHIV (People Living with HIV) na tayo, kung may magagawa pa tayo, kung may maitutulong pa tayo? without divulging our identity to the general public???


this is the opportunity, kaya sign up na kayo, most especially for US who are active online in the different social media anonymously -- marami tayong maaaring itulong, all we need is proper training, i am sure maraming lumalapit sa atin online para magtanung, mahirap sumagot pag hindi tayo sigurado, hindi natin alam kung saan irereffer --- this training will answer all these issues and we can finally be confident in helping others, and know that our efforts are making our community safer and more aware.


sana ay makasama namin kayo dito...


ako si BONG
ito ang aking diary

Peer Educators Training for PLHIV

CALL FOR APPLICATION


The Department of Health, through the National AIDS STI Prevention and Control Program (NASPCP) under the Infectious Disease Office (IDO) of the National Center for Disease Prevention and Control (NCDPC), invites applicants for the TRAINING ON PEER EDUCATION FOR PEOPLE LIVING WITH HIV (PLHIV) on September 2012. This training aims to: (1) capacitate PLHIV to become peer educators; and (2) provide support services and continuum of care to PLHIV through the formation of a support group. Details of the training will be sent to the qualified applicants.


To qualify, he/she must:
1. be a PLHIV
2. be empowered and actively involved in support groups or care and support organization
3. have at least one year experience/involvement in providing care and support services to PLHIV
4. have good writing / speaking skills
5. be capable of preparing client profile and narrative report of client intervention
6. have undergone training on Sex, Gender and Sexuality
7. be articulate in Tagalog and English (or local dialect)
8. have a spirit of volunteerism


Requirements:
1. Application letter addressed to NCDPC-NASPCP
2. Essay on unforgettable experience(s) as a peer educator. State issues and how these were addressed.
3. Separate Recommendation/Endorsement from the Superior / Head of Organization and Two (2) peers/colleagues
4. Supporting documents for training attended
Considerations for Selection of Applicants:


Knowledge:
Basic Course on General Counseling
Updated on programs implemented by national government and NGOs
aware of referral mechanism
Has basic knowledge on HIV and STI, ART, RA 8504,TCS services
Must be familiar with human anatomy
has undergone formal training on peer education and group facilitation




Skills:
Capable of preparing client profile and activity report
Articulate in Tagalog and English (or local dialect)




Atttitude:
Sensitive, emphatic, open-minded, good listener, good communicator, trustworthy
Committed to serve peers on a voluntary basis

Interested applicants must submit all documents on or before Friday, August 17, 2012 to:
Peer Education for PLHIV Training Secretariat
National AIDS STI Prevention and Control Program (NASPCP)
3rd Floor, Bldg. 14
Department of Health
San Lazaro Compound
Sta. Cruz, Manila


For further details, please contact NASPCP at (632) 495-0149 or email 


naspcp@yahoo.com

My EX is Parteeing N Playing!

Hi Bong,

I love your blog site as it delivers a clear message to Filipino people engaging into activities that put them at risk to acquire HIV. I decided to write an email because recently I learned that my ex boyfriend was engaging into risky sexual practices. We separated last July 2011 and still I know in my heart I still care. When I learned that he is engaging into partee and play without protection I was alarmed. A friend of mine whom I introduced him when we were still together exchanges messages to him in planetromeo. Sharing stories and sex trips. From ecstasy, he is now taking ice/slam. Engaging into pnp 1on1 but most of the times a group of 6 and more. Sadly, none of those events did he use condoms according to my friend.

I do not know PnP then until I researched every detail of partee and play. The rising incidence of HIV according to an article and even a feature news from an international tv was due to PnP. I was very curious that i researched colloquial terms they are using. To understand further pnp, i tried it once (of course observing safe sex from start to the end) to know how it feels. It was indeed ecstatic but a person in pnp was still in his sound mind and there was a period after the pnp that you would feel down even without reason (crashing is the term according to my research).

I wanted to help him, he was still young  (25 years old and I am 30). I took HIV test when I learned he was doing pnp, fortunately it was negative (feb 2012) because I know in myself i am not engaging into unprotected sex except to my bfs. I am convincing him to take the test and he refuse to talk about it. I care and i consulted hiv + in pr how to convince him to take the test...

I wanted to help him because i still care. Please help.

Thank you.

CARING EX


-----------------------------------------------


hello Caring Ex,

i will reply to your letter in my next blog (medyo busy lang) --- i also want to blog in details about the topic of PnP, there's a reason my blog is titled as such... i'v been wanting to talk about it, i always hesitate but because you opened the topic na, maybe this March is the right time to talk about it.

thanks for writing to me Caring Ex...

(anybody who wants to comment and help would be highly appreciated)

ito ang aking diary

BONG

ang BB at iPhone at si PETE

...am loving my smart phones!

PETE:
Good morning! I got tested last friday at san lazaro for HIV when a good friend told me he is a poz.
Good thing wala kaming past pero i got tested and im really sure im a poz too.
Had risky encounters in the past and im just sure it will turn out positive...so ayun hahaha.
Its cool, i have already accepted it and iniisip ko nalang its like diabetes na i need to change my life style and take some meds for maintenance.
Though i still feel uneasy like im doing this unprepared kaya when i saw your blog i  just wanted to ask for your guidance like gawin mo akong little kid bro na who is now clueless and a bit scared?
Thanks and i just hope you could help me out.
Btw im Pete hahaha.


BONG:
Hey pete.
Lumabas na ang result?
Or are you just assuming pa lang.
What did the counselor said.
Stay cool.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld


PETE:
I am assuming hahaha.
But i pretty sure im already poz besides the day before i got tested, signs of genital herpes started to show.
And yeah the doctor at san lazaro confirmed na its genital herpes nga daw.
Haven't talked to any counselor at san lazaro hosp even the counseling was just a simple series of questions
"you know hiv?"
"you know the risk?"
"you know what will happen if you're positive?"
"you have questions?"
I really hated san lazaro pero i dunno other hiv hubs aside from pgh.
Well honestly, im just assuming pero its a gut feel. I just want to be prepared and informed rather than me moping around kaya im researching things like arv, hiv hubs and thr like.
I want to take hiv by the horns and control it.
Thanks bong, and im sorry if im a bother
Sent from my iPhone


BONG:
Ur not a bother at all.
www.thebody.com is your best source of information.
They have a newly diagnosed section which is all the information that you need.
Its still best to wait for the confirmatory.
Meanwhile I commend you for being a strong person for staying 'positive' inspite of the dillemma.
And all without proper counseling.
Anytime you need to talk, I'm just here and you can call my globe number. And my twitter.
Dami options for treatment hubs.
You don't have to stay in san lazaro.
I heard a lot of sorry situations there.
Good morning.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld


PETE:
Bong thanks for the help really.
I honestly fell a lot better right now knowing that someone who has this is willing to help out.
Yeah my friend who is a poz knows - but he is just diagnoaed recently and will start his arv - and my best friend and a close friend who are there to give emotional support pero i still feel the need to talk to guys who has been living with this and will tell me "it will be ok"
Sent from my iPhone


BONG:
It is okay pete.
Now we can focus on the more important things in life.
Take care of yourself more.
Love yourself more.
And live a full life.
Just follow the steps.
Ul be fine.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld


PETE:
Yeah with regarding to taking care of myself.
Haven't checked the site you gave me pero would it be possible to get at least tips on how i should take care of myself?
I really abused my body from staying up late, going out, drinking and smoking.
Pero i haven't been sick nor hospitalized since grade school, so is it still advisable for me to continue dragon boat?
I mean are there restrictions now?
Like i cant paddle in manila bay kasi the water is tainted?
Thanks again bong.
And im sorry if im disturbing your work
Sent from my iPhone


BONG:
U can live a normal life so long as you be more careful.
Upon enrollment sa treatment hub, ichecheck lahat ng buong katawan mo, all the works.
Dun mo malalaman kung ano ang mga bawal.
Kung everything is still good.
You can still do most of the things ur doing.
Spend time at www.thebody.com
Cheers.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld


PETE:
Thanks bong
Sent from my iPhone

SERO-POSITIVE COUPLE (HIV Seroconcordant Couple)

Hi Bong,

I'm one of those avid readers of your blog site, I find it very informative. I'm Nel, 27 and recently confirmed to have the "gift" last month, (12/2011), I also have a partner for 2 years and he has "it" as well, confirmed (06/2011). We found out last year lang din, when my partner was hospitalised and diagnosed to have a tuberculosis of the lymph nodes (not contagious naman, Thank God). may symptoms na lumabas kasi sa kanya that triggers the doctors to conclude that he has HIV, with our consent, he took the test and yun nga, hindi sila nagkamali. It's hard at first, pero I know my partner and myself really well, bago naging kami we have multiple sexual partners,so hindi na din ako nagulat. That moment was, I considered the lowest point of our relationship so far, we were financially, emotionally and mentally hurt but we managed to pull through with the help of selected friends and family members. We were endorsed by his doctor to RITM to get free meds for his TB and his daily dosage of his ARV. Matatapos na din yung sa TB nya  this end of January, and that would be one of the things that I should be thankful for pa din kay God.

It's a blessing in disguise na din siguro na nagkasakit cya somehow for us to know our health status, I'll be taking up some tests na din this month for my ARV  regardless kung mababa o mataas ang CD4 ko, I'll take ARV na din. We would like to be involved in programs for positive people like us and would want to meet them and hear their stories. Do you have any ideas kung sino yung pwede namin lapitan?  I also wanna hear it from you. so pano hanggang dito n lang siguro, I hope you hindi ka na bore sa pagbasa ng story namin magpartner. Let's keep in touch, thanks!

Continue to inspire us with your blogs.

Nel

Hello Nel,

kainis ka, naiiyak ako sa story nyo --- i like that you guys are taking the diagnosis positively, totoong blessing ang malaman 'kaagad' ang status natin, ng sa ganun ay magawan kaagad ng paraan.

sana ay ipagpatuloy nyo pa ang inyong pagmamahalan, despite of all the challenges. humahanga ako sa inyo.

my next CD4 (6th month) count will be next week so i'l be visiting the beautiful people of RITM again.  last July i got 379 (not as high as hoped) ---  i suspect my cd4 will be lower ngayon kasi toxic ang work ko this past 6 months and i am highly considering taking ARVs na.

will keep you guys posted.

marami pa ako gusto ikuwento. hanap lang ako ng oras.

salamat,

ito ang aking diary

BONG


__________________________________________________________

a great article about HIV COUPLES here

Couples
By Raymond A. Smith 1998

A couple is composed of two persons in a committed sexual or romantic relationship, usually over a significant period of time. Couples may be opposite-sex or same-sex, married or unmarried, monogamous or nonmonogamous, and cohabitating or living apart and may or may not have children.
In terms of HIV/AIDS, couples may be either HIV seroconcordant, with both members being either sero-positive or seronegative, or HIV serodiscordant, with the partners having different serostatuses. For most couples, HIV/AIDS raises two paramount concerns: the risk of HIV transmission and the likelihood of illness of one or both partners.

Couples in which both partners believe themselves to be HIV-negative have it as their challenge to remain that way. Statistically, most couples worldwide are seroconcordant-seronegative, especially in populations and regions that do not have a high level of HIV seroprevalence. These couples may be the least likely to practice safer sex consistently with each other, particularly if they have agreed to be sexually monogamous or if they want children. Such couples may feel little incentive to put up with the more unpleasant demands of safer sex and, indeed, may find that issues involved with avoiding the exchange of bodily fluids damages the quality of their sexual and personal lives. Shared HIV-negative status may also encourage a couple to remain together rather than face the risk of infection from partners of unknown status.

If both partners who believe themselves to be in a seroconcordant-seronegative relationship are indeed HIV-negative and remain so over time, then HIV/AIDS poses little direct risk to them. However, some people do not know their actual serostatus but simply presume themselves to be uninfected based on their personal histories or prior HIV test results. A lack of knowledge about HIV transmission and psychological denial may lead some people to underestimate their likelihood of infection.

One member of the couple may become infected by sexual activity outside the relationship or by other routes, such as injecting drug use, blood transfusions, or occupational exposure. A member of a couple who becomes infected during the course of a relationship may unknowingly pass HIV along to his or her partner. Even if one-half of the couple knows him- or herself to be infected, he or she may find it difficult to suggest condom use, because this would be tantamount to admitting to sexual infidelity or unsafe drug use. Even couples with explicit agreements to discuss any risky behavior outside their relationship may find it difficult to do so in practice.

Couples in which both partners are seropositive face a different set of concerns. Such couples occur most frequently in certain risk groups, such as gay men and injecting drug users, or in geographic regions with high HIV seroprevalence. For these couples, transmission may seem to be a less pressing concern. However, such couples run the risk of reinfection, in which one partner infects the other with a different and potentially more virulent strain of HIV, some currently unknown cofactor that might worsen their condition, or a sexually transmitted disease.

Nonetheless, couples in which both partners are HIV-positive may be tempted to ignore safer-sex practices and/or to share needles freely out of a sense that such activity poses little additional risk. Indeed, shared seropositivity may be a source of comfort and solidarity for some couples, although this may be less the case if one partner was the agent of infection for the other.

Pregnancy, either accidental or intentional, is of particular concern for seroconcordant-seropositive heterosexual couples, given the risks of maternal transmission and premature death of the parents. Couples who already have children must take care to make provisions for these children, who may themselves be infected and who run a high risk of being orphaned.

Seroconcordant-seropositive couples face a high degree of uncertainty about the future, because both members must contend with the likelihood of future illness. Yet, the two partners may be at very different stages of disease progression; rather than growing sick and dying together, one partner may still be asymptomatic while the other has already progressed to AIDS. In these cases, the partner who is well may be faced with caregiving, either while healthy or while in declining health. The couple may need to deal with changes in mutual dependence, debilitating opportunistic infections, sexual dysfunction, cognitive impairment, anticipatory grief over the death of the sicker partner, and concern about the future health of the healthier partner.

Meanwhile, psychological and practical support is often less available for well caregivers than for their sick partners. In relationships that are not sanctioned by law, the well partner may also have to contend with difficulties regarding spousal insurance coverage, medical decision making, legal guardianship, inheritance, and unwelcome involvement by parents and other biological relatives.

Serodiscordant couples raise the thorniest set of issues, because they must face major concerns about both transmission and caregiving. Although many HIV-negative individuals might not choose to become involved with someone who is HIV-positive, the seroprevalence rates in some communities are so high that such couplings are almost unavoidable. In other cases, partners may already be committed to one another before their serodiscordant status is discovered or discussed.

Out of concern about transmission, some serodiscordant couples become overly cautious and all but cease sexual relations. Others may become fatalistic about the inevitability of transmission and take unwise risks. Even if the partners find a level of sexual interaction with which they are both comfortable, accidental slipups and condom breaks do occur. Thus, the prospect of infection is always present, causing the infected partner to worry about transmitting the virus, and the uninfected partner may experience "survivor guilt" to the point of wishing to become infected.

Serodiscordant heterosexual couples who wish to have children must be concerned about sexual transmission between partners and about maternal transmission in the womb if the woman is the infected partner. Although a number of technologies have been explored to remove HIV from semen, attempting a pregnancy remains risky for serodiscordant couples.

As a seropositive partner becomes ill, another set of issues arise around caregiving. Although the basic concerns are the same for serodiscordant couples as for seroconcordant-seropositive couples, the divide between the two serodiscordant partners can be greater, as the two do not share the same HIV status. "Survivor guilt" may become even more acute at this stage, impairing the ability of the seronegative partner to protect him- or herself as well as the seropositive partner. Alternatively, some seronegative partners may decide that they are unable or unwilling to help their partner deal with severe illness and abandon the partner to care for him- or herself. In a few cases, the well partner may even be called upon to assist with the suicide of the sick partner.

end.

http://www.thebody.com

House of Numbers

matagal tagal din akong di nakapagsulat, marahil nagtataka kayo --- busy lang ;)  i am nearing my 3rd monthsary and so far so good 'almost' perfect health condition... ang tanung hanggang kailan???

HOUSE OF NUMBERS --- a friend showed me this documentary film and there has been some issues there that has troubled me a lot.  if you have a chance to see it, i am highly recommending it.  you will know what i'm talking about when you see it.

yaman din lamang at napaguusapan ang mga NUMERO, naisipan kong magbilang...


alas5 na ng umaga di pa ako makatulog maraming numero ang naglalaro at bumabagabag sa aking isipan. kaya nga naisipan kong magsulat...

 
2 sa aking kakilala/kaibigan ang magkasunod na namatay 2 weeks ago, magkasunod na araw.  although the family would not announce or admit it --- they died due to complications of AIDS.  2 burol ang dinalaw ko.  nakalulungkot.



nasabi ko nga na nung JULY lamang 12 ang nag positive sa mga kakilala ko nung um-attend ako HIV testing na inisponsoran ng isang advocacy group. kamusta na kaya sila ngayon?



ngayong SEPTEMBER lamang 6 naman ang nagpositive sa bagong testing ng isa pang advocacy group na aking dinaluhan din.  tapos 6 din ang nagpositive sa isang testing ng ASP na pinuntahan ko rin. welcome to the club sorry at buminggo kayo.



kanina dahil sobrang nabobother na ako sa dami ng nagiging positive sa mga personal na kakilala ko at tuwing isisipin ko kung sino sino sila - parati akong nawawala sa bilang, di ko na macount lahat, kaya nga nagpasiya akong konsultahin ang phonebook sa aking cellphone at itag sila isa isa for proper reference (ika nga) - nanlamig ako sa final result - out of 3198 sa contacts ko --- 20 sa kanila ang positive.  nawala ang antok ko.



6 sa kanila patay na. di ko pa rin tinataggal sa phonebook ko.



14  ang buhay pa



plus ako pa 1 so



15 na kami



3 dun sa mga nagpositive nung JULY eh nasa phonebook ko at buhay pa nga, so nai-tag ko na sila.


so bali 9 ang wala sa phonebook ko na nag-positive din nuon.



so 20 plus 9 equals 29, lahat sila kakilala ko



plus ako pa, so 30 na kami



kaso patay na nga yung 6



so 24 na nga lang kami




1 na lang PASKO na!

nasusundan nyo pa ba ako???

nakakalito na di ba?

kayo, nagsimula na ba kayong magbilang?

maybe we should all start counting before we lose track of the numbers.

pero baka eventually mapagod kayo sa pagbibilang --- dahil sa aking lagay nga ngayon linggo linggo yata ay nagbabago ang mga numero na yan, pinakaayaw ko pa namang subject eh math.

basta ang alam ko, something has to be done... am trying to do my best to help out and be part of the solution...  i am happy that i have decided to be part of the solution even before i found out that i am positive, and my being positive have just sealed my resolve that this is the right thing to do, and i will not stop on helping out and doing it, until my last breath.


ito ang aking diary

BONG