BATTLE WEARY

Battle Weary: A Poem by River Huston

 

Is it over yet?

crawling from a foxhole

made in the dirt

thirty years deep

the bodies are piled up

some old as cordwood

other freshly departed

Goodbye Ben

baby honey boy

you texted me

just last night

don't get it bro

but you're in God's hands now

You didn't get the memo?

it gets better, man

but I get it

you just worn out

worn down

How long can you live

with death firmly planted by your side?

it's that way for everyone

but for us it's visible loud

intrusive

bony hand on your shoulder reminding you

of everything you ever done wrong

I manage it

just some days the insides

turn to mud

and i can't get a grip

When the smoke cleared and the artillery

went from heavy mortars

to the occasional sniper fire

you'd think I'd handle it

cause i did the big fights

I survived sister

but it seems to have gotten worse though

when everyone was dying

somehow it was easier

it's that lone warrior

falling when you least expect it

it takes me down every time

This sadness is fierce

grief rolled up like punch

my ghosts

are loud

especially late at night

waking to conversations

long forgotten

My love, my love

how i miss you

Sunrise brings another day

some tea

put on the good face

the sea helps

if it doesn't make me cry

it gets me through another day

 

____________________________

i heard of a fellow pusit committing suicide a few weeks ago, even after a "self empowerment training" he has undergone --- sad!

ako si BONG

ito ang aking diary

 

Posted with Blogsy

Use of Poppers

Jan 13, 2013

I have an undetectable viral load and high CD4 count. I now want to try to try to put myself back into the dating scene. I know that if it gets sexual I need to wear condoms. I just need to know is it safe to take poppers to loosen up before sex. I am currently on Isentress and Complera. Would it be a deadly cocktail and what can I do, because I can't normally maintain an erection being penetrated nor do I ejaculate. I heard men with HIV should not to use poppers. Please advise.

 

Response from Dr. David Fawcett

Thanks for writing. Poppers should be used with caution. They don't mix with protease inhibitors (although neither Isentress nor Complera contain PIs) because of interference with liver enzymes, creating the potential for increased blood levels of certain medications. You mention erectile dysfunction. Poppers are a dangerous mix with ED drugs such as Viagra. The combination can cause a drop in blood pressure, increased heart rate, and even more serious problems like heart attack or stroke.

In my practice I see a high number of men who rarely or never have sex without poppers and/or mood altering drugs. Sex without the benefit of something to "loosen up" can be intimidating and intense for some, but a drug-free experience will ultimately be more much more satisfying (and safer).

Enjoy!

David

www.thebody.com

 

Posted with Blogsy

Si Nol - Spit or Swallow?

Bong,


hi I saw your email on the internet. Ako si NOL ofw sa Saudi arabia. gusto ko lang humingi ng payo regarding sa risk ko. recently may naka oral sex akong syrian dito. nalunok ko yung semen niya. ano ang chance ko na mag karoon ng HIV? Natatakot kasi akong magpatest kasi bawal ang bading dito sa saudi. balak ko sana sa pinas na ako mag pa test pag uwi ko. kaso by december pa uwi ko. I asked the opinion of AIDSMEDS kaso opinion nila wala daw risk ang oral sex. Totoo kaya yon? napaparanaoid na kasi ako. feeling ko mababaliw na ako kaka isp. hirap kasi dito walang anonymous testing center. Ano kayang risk if ever i delay ang testing? or malaki ba talaga ang chance na magkaroon ako ng HIV dahil sa oral sex? Please Ineed some advice thank you.


NOL

_____________________________________________




Hello Nol,


Yes its very low risk, you don't have to worry. Hiv virus will not survive sa stomach because of the gastric acids not unless you have lesions in your mouth or throat during swallowing. I think its okay for you to wait til december and get tested here in manila. 


Next time its always better to spit than to swallow.


Stay safe.


Bong

______________________________________________




Bong,


Thanks po. medyo lumuwag ang loob ko. kaso medyo kabado pa din ako kasi recently may LBM ako then may tumubong mouth sore sa bibig ko. medyo maliit lang pero kinakabahan ako. Hindi kaya symptoms ng HIV yon?


Nol




_______________________________________________




Nol,


Almost anything naman can be a symptom of hiv infection, dipende sa reaction ng katawan ng tao pa rin yan, madalas nga walang kahit anung signs ans symptoms. Taking HIV out of the picture, anybody can have LBM or mouthsore at kahit sabay sabay pa, doesnt necessarily mean meron ka.  There is no way to tell, Hiv test is the only way to know if indeed ur infected. 


Minsan lang medyo napaparanoid tayo. Just take the test the soonest possible time na alam mong safe ka. Don't worry too much. Minsan masama lang talaga ang weather at madalas tayo magkasakit.


Relaks ka lang, kung may makikita kang anonymous testing site dyan, much better para malaman mo na ang katotohanan.


Bong